THIS MONTH'S GUEST SPEAKER: "R."
Originally posted in Feb. 1998(The author retains all rights to this material)
I am an addict named "R". I started using in 1969 and surrendered in 1990. I believe I was an addict from day one. I can remember being told to do things at a young age, and even though I knew the consequences, I still did my own will. The disease of addiction is progressive. For me, one is too many, and a thousand is never enough. My disease took me to prison, and other places I thought I would never go.
When I came into the program of N.A. on July 10th, 1990, I was thoroughly beaten. I was willing to do whatever I was told to do. I was in a lot of mental, physical, and spiritual pain. I went to a detox, then to a long term rehab. I got a sponsor. I started working the steps. I got commitments. I did 90 meetings in 90 days.
Today I have much hope and faith. I believe you get what you put into this program. I still go to many meetings. Everything is not perfect today, but when difficult things happen, I have choices, unlike in the past. The more meetings I go to, the more choices I have. The less meetings I go to, the less choices I have. If I don't go to any meetings, I don't have any choices.
In closing, I would like to say that I have a higher power in my life today, who I use in good times and bad. If you think you have a problem with addiction, you probably do. Give yourself a break and try this new way of life.