THIS MONTH'S GUEST SPEAKER: "Adrianne"
Originally posted on April 2005(The author retains all rights to this material)
N.A. LOVED ME WHEN I DIDN'T LOVE MYSELF
I was a lost child at 15 years old. I never finished high school. I dropped out in the 10th grade, because of bad attendance. I smoked weed, drank, and partied every weekend. That led me to snorting cocaine, shooting coke, dope, and barbiturates. By the age of 21, whatever the high was, I was down. I was a hustler. For the next 10 years off and on, I was in and out of jail. I had total of 8 yrs. prison time when it was all added up. I came home after maxing out on a 5 yr. bid. I took that first drink only as a substitute for drugs, but it took me off to the races again. The doctor said, "You are about to have a heart attack, STOP shooting coke". So I went to crack. My prayer to God was if he ever got me off drugs again, “LORD I'll quit”. I was told I had an alcohol hex, and if the person died before I got sober then I'd always be drinking alcohol. But if I quit before the person that put the hex on me died, then I would be free and the spell would be broken. By God’s grace and mercy, I was saved.
I was put into a transitional housing program. I had to do 4 meetings a week, and I couldn't hang around old people, places, or things. Someone told me you're the first person that I know, that has lived on the streets for 4 years and still living. I am talking about 4 years of being homeless on the streets. I lived like a Die Hard battery. But here’s where my story starts to get better. I attended NA meetings. N.A. gave me the tools and guidelines for living. Through working steps and praying to my higher power on a spiritual level, I was able to finish the program. Today my life is completely different. I will soon graduate high school. I have an apartment for $800 a month, and cable throughout my apartment even in my kitchen. My shoes are no longer dusty, and I no longer have to walk for miles. I have a car, and my bills are never behind. I have a large NA family. I have a Sponsor, Sponsee sisters, a grand Sponsor, and a great grand Sponsor. N.A. loved me when I didn't love myself. I work the steps, attend meetings, and I am 3 years clean. I weigh over 200 pounds, but that’s O.K.. I am even reunited with my children, who were legally adopted during my active addiction. Today I have a commitment, to myself, to my family, and to my group. I'm the GSR, one of the trusted servants of my home group. I am eternally GRATEFUL and I LOVE N.A.
I am an addict named Adrianne.